Category Archives: Best Of

Louis C.K. releases his sales figures

From his website (not a producer, publisher or agency website):

The show went on sale at noon on Saturday, December 10th. 12 hours later, we had over 50,000 purchases and had earned $250,000, breaking even on the cost of production and website. As of Today, we’ve sold over 110,000 copies for a total of over $500,000. Minus some money for PayPal charges etc, I have a profit around $200,000 (after taxes $75.58). This is less than I would have been paid by a large company to simply perform the show and let them sell it to you, but they would have charged you about $20 for the video. They would have given you an encrypted and regionally restricted video of limited value, and they would have owned your private information for their own use. They would have withheld international availability indefinitely. This way, you only paid $5, you can use the video any way you want, and you can watch it in Dublin, whatever the city is in Belgium, or Dubai. I got paid nice, and I still own the video (as do you). You never have to join anything, and you never have to hear from us again.

My favorite part is that he still owns 100% of his content and doesn’t owe anyone else anything.

Radiohead proved that they don’t need a music label and let the users choose the price that they want to pay They did pretty damn well with this promotion. Trent Reznor has given his music away, sold it himself, and retains the rights to his newer work.

This is a trend that we will continue in the future – mark my words.

Email of the week

I’m looking for a new apartment. I found a listing on craigslist and requested more info and some pictures—this is what I got in return:

Hi,

I am out of town. If you want to see the apartment the rear porch
door is unlocked. Just go around back by the garage. If you are
interested an application and informtion sheet is on the kitchen
counter. You can fax the application back to the number on the sheet.

Shocking, but honest.

April Fools 2011 around the web

Here’s a collection of April Fools day jokes from around the web. I’ll update this every so often as I find new content.

Google Motion — Turn your email into a body of work.

Pinboard.in now a Yahoo product.

Use Reminders: Introducing a new feature that will change the way you live: Carrier Pigeon.

Angry Nerds — What do you do when you have bugs in your code? Send in the Angry Nerds. Consider these issues…resolved.

Reddit Mold includes features such as comment limits, a distinguishing reddit mold mark next to your username, and the inability to use certain letters such as ‘e’.

Starbucks Mobile Pour

…we’re proud to introduce the exciting new Starbucks® Mobile Pour service that puts baristas on scooters. In seven of the largest cities around the country, we’re sending out two scooter baristas per every square mile to ensure speedy service.

Don’t Try Scamming Me

I posted a computer for sale on craigslist and it seemed like someone was interested, one Diana Webber:

is your item still for sale??

Naturally I responded:

Yes. Are you interested

The next email I receive states that the person is completely OK with the price and doesn’t want to look at it, however, now this person begins sending all text italicized:

I am buying it for a friend,here is the shipping address

Marcus Tate
6454 n ridge ave apt g w
chicago, IL 60626

I’m OK with the listed price and the condition of the item.get back to me with the shipping cost via UPS Next Day air and your paypal email ID so i can proceeds with the payment.

So I checked how much it would cost to ship on UPS’s website and told the person:

Next day air from UPS will cost approximately $165.00.

Would you like to see the item?

My paypal account is

Please note that the item will ship as soon as funds are approved and exist in my bank account. There are no returns of any kind. The money is non-refundable.

Today I received two emails, one from Diana and one from “Paypal”:

I Have sent the payment and am sure you must have received the payment confirmation in your email.I want you to ship the package tomorrow(Monday) via UPS Next Air Day Delivery Service only and get back to me with the tracking number.

here is the receiver information below :
Marcus Tate
6454 n ridge ave apt g w
chicago, IL 60626

get back to me with the tracking number after you shipped it.

The email from “Paypal” has these email headers:

from service@paypal.com <Paypalmembersecured@mail2consultant.com>
reply-to paypalmembersecured@mail2consultant.com
to
date Sun, Jul 12, 2009 at 10:14 AM
subject Paypal Notification:Payment Temporary Holding Confirmation (C840-L001-Q999-T5365) Routing Code Confirmed

For all of you who do not know how to check the headers, you can either let me google that for you, or use command+shift+H in Apple Mail or click show details near the top of any given message in gmail.

However, here is my response to Diana stating that her funds have been sent:

Dear Diana,

How are you? You are about to get one incredible piece of machine. You see, I bought this computer during a trip in the midwest. St. Louis was my destination and I had no intention of buying anything, let alone a computer.

There was a girl. We met at a bar one night in New York City. It was a cheeky little bar and I was going out just to get drunk, but my luck turned upside down. I saw her. Her grace was exotic and she was feverishly hot. I took her back to my motel and the rest is history.

But she left.

It must have been the middle of the night or early in the morning – she was gone. “Lucy! Lucy!” I yelled as I walked around the apartment checking the motel lobby. She was gone and it was the best night I’ve ever had.

She was crazy in love with me. She smelled like sweet nectar. So I did what any sane man would do and chased her back to St. Louis.

I was walking in the area that she lived, the 2100 block of St. Louis where an Apple store resides. I had no intention of stopping in, but the modern architecture reminded me of her sweet bosom – she always wanted a computer.

So I did what any lover would do on a whim and bought her the best computer in the store. The Mac Pro. It was going to be great. She was going to love it. I could not wait to see the look on her face when she saw me holding it. It was going to astound and arouse her.

But I never gave her the computer, I found out that her address was that of a monastery and she was a catholic nun. She blessed the computer but couldn’t accept it and I took it home with me.

So here we are several months later. I have a computer that has been blessed by the holiest of all holiest and I’m about to send it off to your acquaintance.

I would really appreciate it, Diana, if you would come pick up the computer yourself. It requires gentle hands, for it has been blessed. I can’t bring it to the UPS store because they aren’t gentle enough to transport this beautiful blessed machine.

I have yet to receive a response. We’ll see.

Best of Craigslist: One Wooden Leg

This week’s Best of Craigslist comes from aChicagoapartment-living man who is fed up with the man above him.

I have no idea who you are. I do not know if youre male, female, young, old, black, white, straight, gay, ambidextrous, or a midget. What I do know is this: You are almost certainly obese and have at least one wooden leg.

It is likely that I am completely off in my speculation, but at least hear me out. I do have some evidence that would warrant such claims.

First of all, if you arent a manatee with at least one wooden appendage, I must assume then, that you do indeed have your feet blocked in cement. At the very least, you have a horrible case of elephantitis of the lower body causing your feet to stomp and drag and cause a great amount of disturbance. Now Ive lived in apartments before, some being quite rowdy seeing as I did attend college for five years. Despite this, you my heavy hooved friend, are one of a kind.

To read more visit the Craigslist page.